Rose Delaney is a shy young lady. Her parents are strict and she feels it is hard to do things correctly to their standard. Her older sister, Chloe, is quite different. Always achieving in sport, academically and having a confident attitude. Very different to Rose.
Unfortunately, her parents compare her to Chloe but she simply isn't the same nature. It just makes her lose confidence, creating a vicious circle of comparison and criticism. She spends a lot of her time in her bedroom, reading or doing crafts.
The lack of confidence went with Rose to school. She was teased and bullied for wearing glasses and displaying a lack of sporting acumen. She retreated to the school library for solace during lunch break.
She finally leaves school and gets an office job but things don't improve. She still struggles with confidence and social interaction.
At lunch time, Rose usually sits alone with a sandwich and her thoughts. She is invited to parties but always makes excuses. Then one day, two work colleagues approached her, Jane and Tuscany.
Jane: I'm throwing a party at my place Saturday night. You must come.
Rose: Thank you but I won't be able to make it.
Tuscany in a sharp tone: Why do you never come? Aren't we good enough for you?
Rose is conciliatory: Not at all. I usually have things to do.
Jane: Like? Surely nothing you can't put off for a few hours. You can't have something on every time we ask.
Rose: No, you're right. I'll come.
Jane: Good. My place at 7pm. Bring a few drinks to share and I'll do the snacks.
Tuscany: I'll pick you up Rose. I go past your place on the way anyway.
Rose: Err, thank you. That would be nice.
Rose starts to fret. Partying and dancing are definitely out of her comfort zone but there is no going back now. She worries about it for the next couple of days and then Tucany's car pulls up outside Rose's house. She gets in and off they go. It's only a five minute drive and they enter Jane's home.
Jane's parents are away for the weekend, so Jane has free run of the place. The music is already pulsing and the dancing is in free flow.
Tuscany: Let's grab a guy and go for it!
Rose is already feeling like leaving but has to endure the scene until Tuscany is ready to go home or she rings her parents in desperation.
Just then, Mike from accounts comes over to chat with her.
He can see and feel her awkwardness.
Mike: Hi Rose, Nice to see you. You don't normally make the parties.
Rose: No, but I made an effort to be here and not be seen as unsociable.
Mike: Like to dance?
Rose is hesitant: I'd feel embarrassed to.
Mike reassuringly: There is no audience here. Besides, everyone is too busy enjoying themselves to be watching you.
Rose relents: I guess you're right. I just don't know how to move.
Mike smiles: Just copy me.
They dance for a while and it goes well enough. Rose is in due course feeling the stress of the evening.
Rose: I need to go home but I'll have to ring my parents. I hope Tuscany doesn't mind.
Mike: I'll take you, and I'll tell Tuscany.
She gets dropped off at home, relieved she got through the night.
The next day, Mike pops in. The rest of the Delaneys are at church but Rose slept in and decided to stay home. They sit in the lounge, Rose pensive.
Mike: You seem very shy. Can you help me understand?
Rose: How to define it? I have feelings of apprehension, discomfort and awkwardness in social environments. That's how I felt at the dance last night.
Mike: But you did fine. I don't get it but understand it's a very real situation. What drives this, if you don't mind me asking questions? I want to help, not be nosy.
Rose: I've always had a self consciousness, even as a small child.
Mike: So how do you feel inside?
Rose: My heartbeat goes up and cheeks go red, making me more self conscious as I feel everyone can now see my social awkwardness.
Mike: Are your parents aware of how you feel?
Rose: I think so, but perhaps not to the fullest extent. They're too busy critiquing me. That leaves me with a fear of negative evaluation by others. I sound like a cot case, don't I?
Mike: No. You sound like someone who needs empathy and understanding. Shyness at this degree is clearly a difficult situation to cope with. Maybe doing a little more social interaction would allay some of the problem, although realistically, you will always be a shy person. It's what you are naturally.
Rose: Thank you for caring and taking the time to get to know about me and my problem.
Mike: How about I take you out for dinner tonight? I know a nice, quiet place.
Rose: That would be nice. Out twice in one weekend is more than I do in a year.
Mike: I'll pick you up at six. Can I ask you to wear something nice, perhaps something to test your shyness?
Rose: My sister Chloe has some nice things. I'll ask her nicely to loan me something and to help me with suggestions.
Mike: Great, see you then.
Mike reflects as he drives over to pick up Rose. Shyness is a difficult social condition. It varies in scope and situation, but can be made worse by a lack of understanding. Empathy and respecting the reality of the condition will help. He hopes he can assist. He really likes her, too.
Mike arrives at six as planned and out comes Rose, feeling self conscious but also knowing she looks nice. He is so impressed. Her sister has done a fine job in helping Rose. She crosses the road to the waiting car. Mike has his window wound down and is smiling.
Rose: How do I look? Rose asks nervously but also excitedly.
Mike: You look great. I feel so proud to be with you tonight.
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