The next day they have breakfast, and then walk into the lounge. Angie is all smiles and Dan reciprocates, but with a hint of wondering what's up. They sit and Angie opens up.
Angie: I've been thinking Dan. I want to make some changes to our marriage arrangement. Ruth has helped me see things differently.
Dan: Oh, okay.
Dave: Dan, good to see you.
They leave & walk back to the car in silence. In the car, Angie says: What are you thinking?
Dan: I'm banging my head on a brick wall. I want things to stay as they were. They worked but I can see this FLR causing us to lose the fantastic dynamics our relationship had.
Angie: Dan, you haven't even tried it.
Dan: Okay, let's give it a month and see if it achieves anything we didn't already achieve.
Angie: That's all I ask. Thank you.
Over the next week they don't have much to decide upon so no drama there. They get back to the course and Martha decides to discuss how FLR works in the bedroom.
Martha: Tonight we're going to discuss FLR in the bedroom. Who wants to start?
Angie volunteers: We'd like to know how FLR affects intimacy?
Martha: Excellent question Angie. FLR in the bedroom is about the woman taking the lead in intimacy. She decides when, where and how.
Dan: We do that now, with a chuckle.
Angie: Dan!
Martha: Dan, could you expand?
Dan: Well, it's usually me that suggests intimacy and then it's up to Angie. Sometimes she obliges, other times says not tonight.
Martha: But do you always initiate?
Dan: Most times. Sometimes Angie has that look in her eye and if so, I will always oblige.
Angie blushes: Dan!
Martha: So Angie, do you feel you have control?
Angie: I think so.
Martha: Would you like more?
Angie: Well, I don't really need more in that department.
Martha: That's excellent progress folks. Next week, we'll discuss domestic chores and how FLR affects them.
Angie: I've been thinking Dan. I want to make some changes to our marriage arrangement. Ruth has helped me see things differently.
Dan: Oh, okay.
Angie and Ruth had been going on a feminine led relationship (FRL) course but kept it secret. Angie was wondering when to raise it with Dan. Now was her time.
Angie: There's more Dan.
Dan: Oh what pray tell, in an innocent and jovial manner.
Angie: Well, Ruth's husband surrendered control to her and it's working well. She's suggested we try it.
Dan was shocked, he knew Ruth was influencing Angie but not this much.
Angie: Dan, I've enrolled us on a course. It starts next week. Will you come?
Dan: Have you been doing a course on this feminine led relationship and want me to join in?
Angie: Yes Dan, I have, and I think you'll like it. Please?
Dan: Is there something wrong with how we're doing things? I thought we were happy and we were working well together.
Angie: We are Dan, but I think it could be better. Please just try it?
Dan: I'm not against trying things, but why fix something that isn't broken?
Angie: I agree it's not broken, but maybe it could be even better.
Dan: Can you give me a heads up on what this course is going to be covering?
Angie: Yes Dan, but I'd like you to go with an open mind.
Dan: And you’re telling me if I learn anything about this course, I will close my mind?
Angie: No, but I'm worried you'll see negatives before trying.
Dan: Has Ruth's partner Dave been along to these courses?
Angie: Yes Dan. He was reluctant at first, but now he loves it.
Dan: Well, I respect Dave, so if he thought it's a good thing, I'm in. When will the next one be?
Angie: Great! Tomorrow night at 7, I'll pick you up from work.
Dan: My work attire will be okay?
Angie: Yes, smart casual is fine.
Dan: We haven't had a kiss yet.
Angie: Come here then.
They hug and Dan feels Angie's excitement about this new course. He was inwardly suspicious but decides to act cool and positive. It may even help them!
Next evening, they arrive at the course. There are about ten couples there. It's a beginners class so all the men are new to this, but their wives have all been attending for various lengths of time.
Angie: There's more Dan.
Dan: Oh what pray tell, in an innocent and jovial manner.
Angie: Well, Ruth's husband surrendered control to her and it's working well. She's suggested we try it.
Dan was shocked, he knew Ruth was influencing Angie but not this much.
Angie: Dan, I've enrolled us on a course. It starts next week. Will you come?
Dan: Have you been doing a course on this feminine led relationship and want me to join in?
Angie: Yes Dan, I have, and I think you'll like it. Please?
Dan: Is there something wrong with how we're doing things? I thought we were happy and we were working well together.
Angie: We are Dan, but I think it could be better. Please just try it?
Dan: I'm not against trying things, but why fix something that isn't broken?
Angie: I agree it's not broken, but maybe it could be even better.
Dan: Can you give me a heads up on what this course is going to be covering?
Angie: Yes Dan, but I'd like you to go with an open mind.
Dan: And you’re telling me if I learn anything about this course, I will close my mind?
Angie: No, but I'm worried you'll see negatives before trying.
Dan: Has Ruth's partner Dave been along to these courses?
Angie: Yes Dan. He was reluctant at first, but now he loves it.
Dan: Well, I respect Dave, so if he thought it's a good thing, I'm in. When will the next one be?
Angie: Great! Tomorrow night at 7, I'll pick you up from work.
Dan: My work attire will be okay?
Angie: Yes, smart casual is fine.
Dan: We haven't had a kiss yet.
Angie: Come here then.
They hug and Dan feels Angie's excitement about this new course. He was inwardly suspicious but decides to act cool and positive. It may even help them!
They sit, facing a woman looking back at them all, and she seems very peasant. Angie holds Dan’s hand in excitement and a little apprehension. Then the lady at the front, Martha stands up to speak and explain the basics of FLR.
Martha: Good evening everyone, and welcome to Feminine Led Relationships 101. I'm Martha Berry, your instructor. Tonight, we'll explore how embracing female leadership can create harmony and fulfillment in your relationships.
Dan glances around the room, noting the mixture of expressions, some men looking uncomfortable while others seem resigned. Angie squeezes Dan’s hand reassuringly.
Martha continues: Many of you men might be wondering why you're here. That's normal. This isn't about domination, but about creating space for your partner's natural leadership abilities to flourish.
Angie smiles and whispers to Dan: Keep an open mind.
Martha: Good evening everyone, and welcome to Feminine Led Relationships 101. I'm Martha Berry, your instructor. Tonight, we'll explore how embracing female leadership can create harmony and fulfillment in your relationships.
Dan glances around the room, noting the mixture of expressions, some men looking uncomfortable while others seem resigned. Angie squeezes Dan’s hand reassuringly.
Martha continues: Many of you men might be wondering why you're here. That's normal. This isn't about domination, but about creating space for your partner's natural leadership abilities to flourish.
Angie smiles and whispers to Dan: Keep an open mind.
Martha then introduces an exercise where the women are to share what they hope to gain from FLR, while the men listen without interrupting. Angie's turn comes, and she stands confidently.
Angie: I want to create a relationship where our strengths complement each other organically. Where Dan's protective nature meets my visionary thinking in balance.
Dan feels strangely touched by her words, though still uncertain about the whole concept. Martha nods approvingly.
Martha: That's beautiful, Angie. Now Dan, could you share how that makes you feel?
All eyes turned to Dan. He clears his throat, choosing his words carefully. It sounds... nice in theory. I just wonder how it works practically. We already make decisions together and that works just fine. So what is being proposed here that’s different?
Martha smiled knowingly: Excellent question. Let's explore that next week when we discuss household dynamics and gradual transitions. For now, just sit with these ideas.
As the session continues with more explanations and light exercises, Dan finds himself alternating between skepticism and curiosity. Angie's hopeful glances keep Dan engaged despite his reservations. At the end, Martha hands out homework, a list of small gestures the men could do to show support, like bringing coffee in bed or handling chores without being asked. Baby steps she reminds them.
Walking back to the car, Angie turns to Dan with shining eyes: So? What did you think?
Dan hesitates, then admits: It wasn't as scary as I imagined. Still not sure it's for us, but..I'm willing to keep exploring.
Angie throws her arms around Dan: That's all I ask! Her enthusiasm is infectious, and he finds himself smiling despite still being unsure how it is supposed to work in practice.
Next week? Dan asks.
Next week Angie confirms, squeezing his hand. They drive home, both lost in their thoughts about this new chapter beginning.
When they get home Dan asks Angie what she meant by his protective nature meets her visionary thinking in balance.
Angie: I want to create a relationship where our strengths complement each other organically. Where Dan's protective nature meets my visionary thinking in balance.
Dan feels strangely touched by her words, though still uncertain about the whole concept. Martha nods approvingly.
Martha: That's beautiful, Angie. Now Dan, could you share how that makes you feel?
All eyes turned to Dan. He clears his throat, choosing his words carefully. It sounds... nice in theory. I just wonder how it works practically. We already make decisions together and that works just fine. So what is being proposed here that’s different?
Martha smiled knowingly: Excellent question. Let's explore that next week when we discuss household dynamics and gradual transitions. For now, just sit with these ideas.
As the session continues with more explanations and light exercises, Dan finds himself alternating between skepticism and curiosity. Angie's hopeful glances keep Dan engaged despite his reservations. At the end, Martha hands out homework, a list of small gestures the men could do to show support, like bringing coffee in bed or handling chores without being asked. Baby steps she reminds them.
Walking back to the car, Angie turns to Dan with shining eyes: So? What did you think?
Dan hesitates, then admits: It wasn't as scary as I imagined. Still not sure it's for us, but..I'm willing to keep exploring.
Angie throws her arms around Dan: That's all I ask! Her enthusiasm is infectious, and he finds himself smiling despite still being unsure how it is supposed to work in practice.
Next week? Dan asks.
Next week Angie confirms, squeezing his hand. They drive home, both lost in their thoughts about this new chapter beginning.
When they get home Dan asks Angie what she meant by his protective nature meets her visionary thinking in balance.
Angie: Well Dan, you're always thinking about security and safety. I'm always looking for adventure and new things. Together we're stronger.
Dan: Totally. There are things you do better than me and I want you to use those strengths, which I think you are doing now.
Angie: So we agree this could be good?
Dan: I think it's already what we are doing, so yes, it's good to confirm that we have been on the right track. I wonder what next week's session will focus on?
Angie: Household dynamics and gradual transitions. Martha said so, didn’t you hear that?
Dan: I missed that. I'm curious about the transitions. Anyway, I'll put the kettle on and we can head for bed. I wonder if the course will at some point discuss sexual dynamics?
Angie: Yes Dan, it does.
Dan: I look forward to that, with a cheeky grin.
Angie: Me too, with an equally cheeky grin.
Next week comes around and they are back in the same seats. One couple is missing from last week.
Martha stands up: Right folks, tonight we're going to talk about household dynamics and gradual transitions.
The course continues and Martha explains the concept of women making the final decisions after joint discussion, which is similar to what we have been doing but with give and take having the final say.
Martha: Now, who wants to share their current household decision making process?
Angie volunteers: We discuss everything, and Dan has the final say.
Martha: Thank you Angie. And how would you like that to change?
Angie: I'd like to have the final say after our discussions.
Martha: And Dan, how do you feel about that?
Dan: Erm..I don't always have the final say. Sometimes I yield to Angie's wishes and at other times she to mine. We don't argue about things. Maybe Angie yields a bit more than me but if so, marginally.
Martha: So you don't feel there's an imbalance?
Dan: I don't think so, but what do you think Angie?
Angie: No, I don't think there's a problem as such, but I wonder if we'd both be happier if I took more responsibility.
Dan: I don't have a problem with our reassessing how we handle our decision making. I wonder if FLR is about the man handing over control to his partner/wife and becoming more passive.
Martha: No Dan, it's about balance and recognising feminine leadership as different but complementary.
Dan: I think we have that now.
Angie: Yes, but it's subconscious. FLR is about making it conscious.
Dan: I'm confused.
Angie: We'll talk later.
The course continues and Martha explains the concept of feminine leadership is about recognising the woman's strengths and allowing her to lead in those areas.
Dan whispers to Angie: I have no problem with that. We need to talk when we get home to clarify what is being said here, but I don't think we need to reinvent the wheel. Angie decides not to reply at this point.
Martha: Any questions? Others in the audience speak. A man named Cyril gets up to explain how he's looking forward to being in a FLR relationship
Cyril: I'm tired of making all the decisions and want my wife to take responsibility.
Martha: Thank you Cyril. That's a common feeling among men who embrace FLR. Now, let's move on to discussing small steps you can take towards FLR in your homes.
As Martha explains about starting with small areas of responsibility transfer, Dan notices Angie nodding along enthusiastically. She squeezes his hand and whispers, Nothing scary, just little things to try.
Dan: Totally. There are things you do better than me and I want you to use those strengths, which I think you are doing now.
Angie: So we agree this could be good?
Dan: I think it's already what we are doing, so yes, it's good to confirm that we have been on the right track. I wonder what next week's session will focus on?
Angie: Household dynamics and gradual transitions. Martha said so, didn’t you hear that?
Dan: I missed that. I'm curious about the transitions. Anyway, I'll put the kettle on and we can head for bed. I wonder if the course will at some point discuss sexual dynamics?
Angie: Yes Dan, it does.
Dan: I look forward to that, with a cheeky grin.
Angie: Me too, with an equally cheeky grin.
Next week comes around and they are back in the same seats. One couple is missing from last week.
Martha stands up: Right folks, tonight we're going to talk about household dynamics and gradual transitions.
The course continues and Martha explains the concept of women making the final decisions after joint discussion, which is similar to what we have been doing but with give and take having the final say.
Martha: Now, who wants to share their current household decision making process?
Angie volunteers: We discuss everything, and Dan has the final say.
Martha: Thank you Angie. And how would you like that to change?
Angie: I'd like to have the final say after our discussions.
Martha: And Dan, how do you feel about that?
Dan: Erm..I don't always have the final say. Sometimes I yield to Angie's wishes and at other times she to mine. We don't argue about things. Maybe Angie yields a bit more than me but if so, marginally.
Martha: So you don't feel there's an imbalance?
Dan: I don't think so, but what do you think Angie?
Angie: No, I don't think there's a problem as such, but I wonder if we'd both be happier if I took more responsibility.
Dan: I don't have a problem with our reassessing how we handle our decision making. I wonder if FLR is about the man handing over control to his partner/wife and becoming more passive.
Martha: No Dan, it's about balance and recognising feminine leadership as different but complementary.
Dan: I think we have that now.
Angie: Yes, but it's subconscious. FLR is about making it conscious.
Dan: I'm confused.
Angie: We'll talk later.
The course continues and Martha explains the concept of feminine leadership is about recognising the woman's strengths and allowing her to lead in those areas.
Dan whispers to Angie: I have no problem with that. We need to talk when we get home to clarify what is being said here, but I don't think we need to reinvent the wheel. Angie decides not to reply at this point.
Martha: Any questions? Others in the audience speak. A man named Cyril gets up to explain how he's looking forward to being in a FLR relationship
Cyril: I'm tired of making all the decisions and want my wife to take responsibility.
Martha: Thank you Cyril. That's a common feeling among men who embrace FLR. Now, let's move on to discussing small steps you can take towards FLR in your homes.
As Martha explains about starting with small areas of responsibility transfer, Dan notices Angie nodding along enthusiastically. She squeezes his hand and whispers, Nothing scary, just little things to try.
When the session ends, they walk out into the cool night air. Angie turns to Dan, her face illuminated by a streetlamp. So? Thoughts?
Dan: I want to talk to Ruth & Dave to see how it's working for them. Can we pop in on the way home?
Angie: Sure.
They drive to Ruth and Dave's house and knock on the door. Ruth answers and invites them in.
Ruth: So, how was your second session?
Angie: Good, but Dan wants to talk to you and Dave.
Dave comes out of the kitchen, looking relaxed and happy.
Dan: I want to talk to Ruth & Dave to see how it's working for them. Can we pop in on the way home?
Angie: Sure.
They drive to Ruth and Dave's house and knock on the door. Ruth answers and invites them in.
Ruth: So, how was your second session?
Angie: Good, but Dan wants to talk to you and Dave.
Dave comes out of the kitchen, looking relaxed and happy.
Dan: Likewise. They sit. Dan asks Dave: So what changes have you made and are they working out?
Dave: We've been doing FLR for six months now. Ruth makes the final decisions on household matters and finances. She's much better at it than me.
Dan: Did you not do that before, or is this a new approach?
Ruth: It's a continuation of what we were doing, but more explicit.
Dan: In what way has it become more explicit?
Dave: Well, I used to make some decisions without consulting Ruth, but now I always consult her.
Dan: We always consult and we have always had a rule that either of us can veto a spending option. So we both must agree before any major financial decision is made.
Angie: Yes, but the course suggests that after discussion, one partner makes the final decision.
Dan: So the woman has the exclusive right to override her partner's opinion?
Ruth: Yes.
Dan: So it's about a woman being the head of her husband?
Dave: No, it's about recognising the woman's strengths.
Dan: I can't agree Dave. If the woman has the exclusive right to override her partner's opinion. that's more than just strengths. It's about the woman being seen as the head and ultimate authority in the home. It's not authority based on strengths, but gender.
Angie: Dan, is that a problem?
Dan: I don't want to sound dogmatic, but we had a nice shared relationship based on strengths and now we are being encouraged to hand all final decision to one partner. From democratic to autocratic. If it works for you Dave and Ruth, I'm happy for you, but I see it as a backward step in our relationship.
Angie: You're saying you don't want to do it?
Dan: I've just given a clear explanation as to what I think. I welcome a clear explanation as to why I've got this wrong.
Angie: Because Dan, you're seeing it as a power struggle when it's not.
Dan: I don't see it that way. I see it as going from a shared relationship to a female gender led one.
Ruth: Angie wants to take responsibility for leading.
Dave: And I wanted Ruth to take responsibility for us.
Angie: Dan, do you not want me to take responsibility like Ruth does?
Dan: I want what we had, a working relationship of shared ideas and give and take.
Angie: Which is what we'll have, but with me having the final say.
Dan: Okay guys, thanks for your time and your open expressions.
Ruth: No problem Dan, come back any time.
Dave: We've been doing FLR for six months now. Ruth makes the final decisions on household matters and finances. She's much better at it than me.
Dan: Did you not do that before, or is this a new approach?
Ruth: It's a continuation of what we were doing, but more explicit.
Dan: In what way has it become more explicit?
Dave: Well, I used to make some decisions without consulting Ruth, but now I always consult her.
Dan: We always consult and we have always had a rule that either of us can veto a spending option. So we both must agree before any major financial decision is made.
Angie: Yes, but the course suggests that after discussion, one partner makes the final decision.
Dan: So the woman has the exclusive right to override her partner's opinion?
Ruth: Yes.
Dan: So it's about a woman being the head of her husband?
Dave: No, it's about recognising the woman's strengths.
Dan: I can't agree Dave. If the woman has the exclusive right to override her partner's opinion. that's more than just strengths. It's about the woman being seen as the head and ultimate authority in the home. It's not authority based on strengths, but gender.
Angie: Dan, is that a problem?
Dan: I don't want to sound dogmatic, but we had a nice shared relationship based on strengths and now we are being encouraged to hand all final decision to one partner. From democratic to autocratic. If it works for you Dave and Ruth, I'm happy for you, but I see it as a backward step in our relationship.
Angie: You're saying you don't want to do it?
Dan: I've just given a clear explanation as to what I think. I welcome a clear explanation as to why I've got this wrong.
Angie: Because Dan, you're seeing it as a power struggle when it's not.
Dan: I don't see it that way. I see it as going from a shared relationship to a female gender led one.
Ruth: Angie wants to take responsibility for leading.
Dave: And I wanted Ruth to take responsibility for us.
Angie: Dan, do you not want me to take responsibility like Ruth does?
Dan: I want what we had, a working relationship of shared ideas and give and take.
Angie: Which is what we'll have, but with me having the final say.
Dan: Okay guys, thanks for your time and your open expressions.
Ruth: No problem Dan, come back any time.
Dan: I'm banging my head on a brick wall. I want things to stay as they were. They worked but I can see this FLR causing us to lose the fantastic dynamics our relationship had.
Angie: Dan, you haven't even tried it.
Dan: Okay, let's give it a month and see if it achieves anything we didn't already achieve.
Angie: That's all I ask. Thank you.
Over the next week they don't have much to decide upon so no drama there. They get back to the course and Martha decides to discuss how FLR works in the bedroom.
Martha: Tonight we're going to discuss FLR in the bedroom. Who wants to start?
Angie volunteers: We'd like to know how FLR affects intimacy?
Martha: Excellent question Angie. FLR in the bedroom is about the woman taking the lead in intimacy. She decides when, where and how.
Dan: We do that now, with a chuckle.
Angie: Dan!
Martha: Dan, could you expand?
Dan: Well, it's usually me that suggests intimacy and then it's up to Angie. Sometimes she obliges, other times says not tonight.
Martha: But do you always initiate?
Dan: Most times. Sometimes Angie has that look in her eye and if so, I will always oblige.
Angie blushes: Dan!
Martha: So Angie, do you feel you have control?
Angie: I think so.
Martha: Would you like more?
Angie: Well, I don't really need more in that department.
Martha: That's excellent progress folks. Next week, we'll discuss domestic chores and how FLR affects them.
At home Dan asks Angie: Will you be more assertive and let me know what you need to be satisfied. I'm happy to put your satisfaction ahead of mine.
Angie: Yes Dan.
Dan: Is that it? Yes Dan? Can you be more specific?
Angie: I’m finding all this overwhelming.
Dan: That's the advantage of sharing decision making. It doesn't all fall on one person all the time. I'm sorry but the courses are over and we should return to what we were doing so well before, consensus and mutual decision making. Less pressure for both of us.
Angie: Dan, I need time. I didn’t realise I’d feel overwhelmed by always taking the lead.
Dan: Working together to reach decisions is less pressure, and when we are at our strongest.
Angie: Okay Dan, I realise FLR is not empowerment but responsibility and that can be pressure. We'll carry on as before, sharing opinions and coming to a collective decision.
Dan gives Angie a hug and they head for bed. It’s been a tiring day.
Angie: Yes Dan.
Dan: Is that it? Yes Dan? Can you be more specific?
Angie: I’m finding all this overwhelming.
Dan: That's the advantage of sharing decision making. It doesn't all fall on one person all the time. I'm sorry but the courses are over and we should return to what we were doing so well before, consensus and mutual decision making. Less pressure for both of us.
Angie: Dan, I need time. I didn’t realise I’d feel overwhelmed by always taking the lead.
Dan: Working together to reach decisions is less pressure, and when we are at our strongest.
Angie: Okay Dan, I realise FLR is not empowerment but responsibility and that can be pressure. We'll carry on as before, sharing opinions and coming to a collective decision.
Dan gives Angie a hug and they head for bed. It’s been a tiring day.
As for Dave and Ruth? It seems to be working out for them. Each to his own, I guess.
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